'Help, My Interviewer Wants a Reference From My Current Dominate!'

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Dear Dominate,

I have been at my current job for about six years and have a skillful relationship with my managing director. But for various reasons, I have decided that it's time to move on and take been looking for something new. My manager doesn't know about my search.

Recently, the recruiter for a job I was interviewing for permit me know that I was the final candidate and asked me for 2 references as the last phase: my current manager and a former manager. Since I didn't want to alert my boss that I'chiliad looking, I asked if I could give two erstwhile managers as references instead. The recruiter okayed it and the reference checks went well.

The mean solar day after the last reference check, the recruiter emailed me with the hiring manager cc'd, letting me know that the final step was a reference check with my electric current manager. I again explained my situation — my current manager does not know I am job-searching, and to alert her at this stage before a concluding offer was received could jeopardize my current job (or at the very least, make things awkward if the new job fell through). I offered alternatives: documents as proof of employment, a copy of my last functioning review, or speaking with another former manager who still works with me at my current job. The hiring managing director then called me to let me know that the simply fashion to move frontward with even a conditional offer would be to speak with my current manager — that is their policy. Once that and a standard background check were complete, I would get a verbal offer. In addition, they gave me a deadline of less than 24 hours to motility forward or the offer would be withdrawn. This wasn't enough time for me and I didn't feel comfortable with the process, so I had to withdraw.

This is … not normal, right? Information technology seems similar this policy is designed to put a ton of force per unit area on the applicant and leaves them at a huge disadvantage. I don't take annihilation to hibernate and I accept a proficient relationship with my managing director, only information technology still felt risky. This was at a big, prestigious, well-regarded company, then I was really surprised they would accept this policy. Do I need to adjust my expectations and process going forward, or is there whatever way I could have navigated this situation differently to help me stay in the running?

No, that employer was in the wrong. Really in the wrong.

Near employers practise not insist on references from a candidate'due south electric current manager for exactly the reasons you cited: Most people don't want to tip off their boss that they're task-searching until they're ready to get out.

That's not an glut of caution, either; sometimes when a managing director learns someone is looking to leave, they will push them out before than the person wanted to go. Sometimes that's punitive — a "if you don't want to exist here, and then go" kind of response (which is ridiculous; employees moving on is a normal part of doing business). But other times it's more subtle — like an employer that needs to brand staff cuts for financial reasons and figures, "Well, Jane's on her way out anyhow, so nosotros can cutting her position." And other times, you lot're not pushed out but it affects your task in other ways; peradventure your manager stops giving you lot interesting long-term assignments because she thinks you're leaving shortly or doesn't consider yous for promotion or other opportunities y'all might want. Or it can just cause tension with your boss, depending on what the human relationship is similar. And then there are lots of practiced reasons to desire to keep your chore search discreet.

And reasonable interviewers sympathise that. It's very, very normal for job candidates to pass up to offer their current manager as a reference, and it's very, very normal for employers to exist okay with that. Even if an interviewer does ask to talk to your electric current director, near will empathise if you explain why that's non possible.

Sometimes an employer will propose getting around this past making y'all an offer that'due south contingent on a good reference from your current employer. This is a meliorate solution, but not an platonic one. If for some reason the employer doesn't like what they hear from your current boss, you could end upwards with no job offering and with your current job in a less secure place. That said, usually when you allow this, the reference check is likely to be fairly perfunctory; an employer who makes an offer contingent on a skillful reference from your current boss is usually looking for a basic confirmation that you're a reliable person who's done the work you lot said you've washed, not a nuanced word of your strengths and weaknesses. The idea is generally that as long as you haven't misrepresented things and they don't hear that you're wildly incompetent, they'll movement frontwards. (Of grade, if your managing director is volatile or angry that you're leaving and is willing to torpedo your reference over it, this is riskier.)

If you do agree to this kind of contingent-offer setup, make certain that you receive the offering and negotiate it earlier the reference call happens. Otherwise, at that place'southward a run a risk that your boss gets the reference call and so you can't concur on the terms of the offer. If you end up walking abroad because the salary is too low, for example, then there was no point in letting your boss get that call. Information technology tin brand you experience more than pressure level to accept an undesirable offer, if yous've already semi-committed to leaving by allowing that call to be made.

Of course, everything above applies to situations where you don't want to tip off your boss that y'all're job-searching. That might not exist the case every fourth dimension. Some managers create environments where it's safety to tell them when you're starting to retrieve about moving on and have a track record of supporting people who exercise that and ensuring they're never pushed out early on.

Merely if you lot don't want your manager to know you're interviewing and an employer is pushing for a reference from her, what can you lot practise? Offset, clearly explain why that'southward not possible — "My boss doesn't know I'm looking and sharing that right now could jeopardize my job." Then, offer alternatives. For case: "I have a decade of feel doing this work and I'd be happy to put y'all in touch on with anyone yous'd similar to speak with from my previous jobs — managers, colleagues, or even clients — only I'grand not in a position to alarm my current employer that I'thousand thinking of leaving until I'm fix to give discover." You can also do exactly what you did: Offering to put them in bear on with someone else at your current job whom y'all trust to be unimposing.

If they won't budge later on that, at that point you'd need to decide if y'all want the task plenty to concur to their request. But I'd exist very wary of moving forward with a company that disregards professional norms and shows this kind of lack of concern for your job security. It's not a keen sign about them as an employer.

Order Alison Green's book Enquire a Manager: Clueless Colleagues, Tiffin-Stealing Bosses, and the Remainder of Your Life at Work here. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com. Her advice cavalcade appears here every Tuesday.

'My Interviewer Wants a Reference From My Current Boss!'